As a salsa dancer, I go through ups and downs, like anyone else. Sometimes I feel as if I am dragging my feet along the floor, just trying to get through the song.  I usually leave early when I suck.  Some times, I stick around till the end, hoping that somehow i’ll get back my “mojo”.  Salsa dancing is both a struggle and a source of exhileration. One thing is for sure, which is that it’s never ever boring.

Dancing is a continuous learning process.  I accept the fact that sometimes i’ll have an off night. It may be a combination of many things (some may even be out of my control), but these days I don’t offer up any excuses.  To put it simply, I take full responsibility for what happens on and off the dance floor.

I know people who can shake off a bad dance or even a series of bad dances.  But for me, it’s not so easy.   I put a lot of myself into each and every dance.  When I have an off night, I feel horrible.  Lately i’ve changed my priorities when I go out dancing, which have produced a plethora of positive results.

My absolute number one priority is to personalize each dance, with the focus on having a good time. Whether I do nothing but basics or am leading complicated turn patterns, for those five or so minutes, I give myself completely over to the dance and to my partner. As it is often quoted, my partner is the picture while I provide the frame.

Secondly, I never look for the perfect dance partner.  While I admire great partnerships, to me, variety is the spice of life.  The perfect dance is the infusion of good music, connection, creativity, timing and technique.  The thing is, I never look for all of those during a dance, because that would be unrealistic.  As soon as I put some kind of expectation on myself and/or my partner, I will inevitably end up disappointed.

I do my best to bring a unique experience to every dance.  I approach each dance differently, based on my partner’s perceived needs and wants.  Usually I can tell within the first thirty seconds what those are.   I do not always apply these principles successfully, which is why I continue to make adjustments in my own dancing.  Everything from transferring my body weight to giving proper tension, I am always on the look-out for ways of making the experience more enjoyable for everyone involved.

I started dancing 4 years ago, but i’ve only been active in the scene for maybe 2. I take long breaks when I feel like my dancing has grown stale or if i’ve lost perspective and am no longer having fun. However, I feel that none of these reasons are enough to keep me away. It’s all part of the journey, which for me, is the reason I do it.

I’ve grown attached to this dance for many reasons.  The music.  The people.   The community.  There were times when I completely lost my way.   I’ve had to look deep within and ask myself, “do I really want to do this?”   The answer to that question will change depending on current circumstances.   But rest assured nothing can keep me away from this thing that I love so much.   That is a promise I intend to keep.

Dance, in its purest form, transcends the age barrier.  It also transcends the race barrier.  If, at anytime I think I am getting too old or that dancing is not in my blood, then I have lost perspective.  Yes, some people will feel that dancing is only viable when in the prime of life.  The truth of the matter is, if it brings joy to you, then you’re doing the right thing.

Dance has changed my life in more ways than I can count.  I’ve met some very special people.  I Learned a great deal about social interactions on and off the dance floor.   I learned a lot about myself and my perceived limitations.  Frankly, dance is something anyone can do if the effort is there.  I’ve had plenty of setbacks.   Some i’ve conquered.  Others i’m still working on.  Of course there are always more challenges to be had, but the way I see it, nothing is beyond my grasp if i am willing to work at it.

I’ve always said that dance is my hobby. One that I enjoy to the fullest.  Like any hobby, I enjoy it while i’m learning new things and keeping things fresh, and dislike it when it becomes a chore.  But dance to me is more than just than a hobby.  To present date, I have channeled more aspects of my personality through dance than in any other art form.   I have made long lasting friendships with various people using dance as an icebreaker.  I have been able to reach out to those I never thought possible using the language of dance.  Dance is a way to establish communication between two people that otherwise can not be conveyed through words.

No matter what physical (or genetic) barriers I will face, nothing can ever take the enjoyment away from me.  Perception is the one thing we can control unequivocally.

Now there is one issue i’d like to touch upon that deserves mention.  This goes out to everyone who’s ever danced in a social setting. No matter what level of dancer you are, there will always be someone better than you.  This is not specific to dance.   Ask any artist, hobbyist, athlete, scholar, tradesman, or corporate bigwig.  You can’t be concerned with what other people are thinking or talking about.  You can’t be concerned about how you look like to others.   You can’t be concerned about making a fool of yourself.

If you really love something, then you go out and you do it to the best of your ability.  I’ve had to get over myself many times.  Not only that, but i’ve also felt the sting of rejection due to an over inflated sense of entitlement.  It took me a while to realize that was just my ego talking.  However, i’ve been able to use that misdirected negativity to better myself and my dancing.  I believe I have come out a better person as well as a better dancer.

This is the attitude that I need to apply not only in dance, but in life.  Dance has taught me that no matter how far away you are from your element, you can get to where you want to be simply by making an effort.

Nothing is insurmountable.

photo by Rockmixer

I’ve been asked this question more times than I care to remember.

There are many variations of this question. The most popular being “what do you want to be when you grow up?” We ask this question without even thinking, hoping to gain validation for our own decisions in life. Teachers ask this question to their students for validation in their own teaching methods. Likewise, parents ask this to their children to validate their own parenting skills. We are inundated with all sorts of similar inquisitions during every major stage in life.

Like most people, when asked on-the-spot to summarize my life’s ambitions into a well thought out, articulated response, the first thing that usually comes out of my mouth is:

“Uhhhhhh….”

This reminds me of cattle handlers whose job is to guide the cattle back into their pen The cow is reluctant at first, and only after being poked and prodded into submission, will it scurry back into its pen like well behaved livestock

I would wager that if that cow studied kung-fu, it would deliver a swift back leg kick to the handler’s groin each time it was prodded.

I have a similar reaction when someone asks me the question, “So what do you want to do in life?”

Even though I may not say it aloud, what i’m really thinking is:

“Absolutely nothing. I am great doing exactly what i’m doing. But thanks for asking.”

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photo by Jesslee Cuizon
I’ve been blessed to be the recipient of many good hugs over the years. I find there is no other form of physical expression more genuine than a hug. You hug when you feel happy. You hug when you feel sad. Hugs are not dependent on mood or time. A hug may come during a period of happiness or in a period of despair.

The friendliest people I know give hugs often.

So if a hug is the ultimate representation of affection, compassion and empathy, then how does it feel to be hugged by someone who’s hugged more than 30 million people?

Enter Amma.

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When I first discovered blogging 8 years ago, I had no clue what it was or why everyone was raving about it. I only knew that everyone was doing it. I found out later what it was and my reaction was,

“That’s it?”

To me, writing about personal stuff online seemed like nonsense. However I realized there was a common theme among bloggers, which was channeling as much emotional content – most of it being negative – into their blog as possible.

In the past I used to come across blogs that contained nothing but pure, unfiltered, soapbox venting. Because of the proliferation of emotionally charged blogs, I would go in with the mindset of expecting to read about the latest gossip in my circle of friends or hearing about the guy who lost his foot in a meat grinder.

I believe this is just another form of mass consumerism for the mind.

There are already too many types of these of stories to go around, so i’ve decided to abandon that trend and start a whole new one, which I call blogging for positivity.

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